Average Joe's Blog

Being up at 2am does not mean you can't sleep. Being up at 2am means it’s just you and your thoughts – to which the only disturbance you can allow is trying to find 165million reasons why it pays to be corrupt in Zimbabwe - and there has never been a better opportunity to be at your creative  best. Except maybe if you are a wanker; in which case you can wank your poker – or pokee – into kingdom come at 2am. Maybe there is special skills required for wanking at such a goldenly quiet hour as 2am. But I'm no wanker. I mean, I am a wanker. Just a literal one; not the kind of wanker who is such a menace to mankind that even his father wishes he'd pulled out in time; and his mother wishes she'd had an abortion. There is a serene quietness about the ghetto right now that calms your nerves. You can almost feel - nay - hear Harare breathing the carbon monoxide of the previous day's rigours out of their system - in preparation of the day the new day's new rigours....

Maybe later, I will come back to this post, and give it more nuance – but there is definitely something wrong with the world right now. Well; not the whole world; but Europe and America. I am talking about the racially charged caging of immigrants and the racial, jingoistic connotations behind Brexit and the rise of right-wing politics in the so-called developed world. And I have been moved to rush this right now, because the "leader of the free world" cannot stop spewing his racist vitriol on social media against his own people. Just because they are not white; and did not come from Norway. Developed world, my arse. It is the greed of these people that got us here in the first place. Yea baby; people in Africa certainly did not maraud any place on a colonial rampage like the white people did when they bled their own lands dry of mineral and floral wealth. We were fine in Africa, and certainly did not need anything from anyone; and I do not think colonial visitors were ...

I have always dreamed of living in a house made of shoes... Fuck This Used to be Easy Did the Address Go to the Right Or to the Left? Dear Headmaster You know; I have been to Manicaland Province in Zimbabwe – I have actually been there a lot of times and been to a lot of places around the area where you work. I have been to the old growth point in Buhera that gave me a practical lesson about ghost towns I had only heard of in my Geography classes; I have been to the new growth point at Murambinda too (and I have heard about the political shenanigans that led to the death of good ole Buhera GP). I have been to Nyanga and Chipinge and a whole lot of beautiful places in that green province.  Bizarrely, I have never been to Bocha. Which means I have never heard of your school. I am very tempted to think you had never heard of your school too – otherwise you would never have let your wife do what she is said to have don...