Average Joe's Blog

  It’s mom and dad at it again. These days I just roll over and play dead, wishing away their nightly vigils of violence. Even our neighbours no longer scale fences to come and rescue my parents from killing each other like they used to in the olden days. My friends think they were the golden days – they say during that time, when my dad opened his mouth, everybody would stop whatever they were doing and listen. Everybody, including, his erstwhile nemeses; they would hang to every of his words. Oh, the olden days, my friends would sigh, a palpable nostalgia evident in their voices. I’m not sure, but I think I heard a hiccup or a sob escaping from Ruins when he started reminiscing what he called the good ole days. Days just after my dad had rescued me from the captors that had kept me under their grip for exactly a century, if the history of Ruins is to be believed. One hundred years! I gasped as I stared at him in utter disbelief that he loved me so much that he could lie t...

Like all Mondays, this Monday was blue for MuCondemn – a blue Monday of the bluest month of the year. Yours truly, the only person to be adorned with a condemned rank, was playing the damn hide and seek with a damn blue day.  He cursed. Actually, he was burning to say, Damn! but his mouth – a mouth that should go into the Guiness Book of Records for being the only one with a mind of its own – mouthed a foul word that it had excavated from the nether depths inside the Titanic that had shipped the Queen’s nosy language into the country. The Condemned One smiled; he loved his mouth, especially when it was up and running. When MuCondemn’s mouth ran, its full course was worse than a running nose; even worse than a running stomach for that matter. Queen’s language was really weird – a nose ran, a stomach ran – but feet grew cold! Hell. In its heyday, MuCondy’s mouth ran faster than Usain’s lightning Bolt. Come to think of it, his bionically athletic mouth was why ...